Speedy Eugene’s journal

If our fearless leader Starling Straggen’s going to write everything down in his notebook, why, then I’ll do the same! And I’ve plenty to write about, for the way we pillaged and plundered the Silver Salamander till it looked a pile of dank diarrhea was positively epic! Whole hanse had been fixing for ages to make a jaunt over to that tavern. For how long can you sit twiddling your thumbs at a place as foul as the ruins of Arthach? Water up to our ankles, fungus everywhere and the wind blowing so fierce our bums pucker. Why the dead-dong-diddle stick around? So we didn’t! We got our doodoo together and went to work! Hit them so hard, before they figured out what was going on, half of them had already been hacked apart! It was over in a flash. In fact, we got so carried away, not a living soul was to be seen when we were through, though it seems a few managed to scatter into the woods, including that blasted Nilfgaardian owner, but we’ll see to tracking down survivors later. Meanwhile, we’ll drink a bit, sing a bit, and then head out for a good hunt… So, there you go, my memoirs, signed me, vice-head of the hanse, Speedy Eugene.