The Oxenfurt Regatta
By writ of our most gracious ruler, King Radovid V, the Academy has been closed indefinitely, but in his limitless generosity our dear king as allowed us to hold our annual regatta nonetheless. Let us not inquire too intently into his reasons - perhaps he mistakenly thought "regatta" meant a particularly creative form of persecuting nonhumans, perhaps he has taken up an interest in water sports - the important part is that we shall race!
We thus invite any interested in taking part to report to the Racemaster clad in appropriate yachting attire, ready to defend the honor of his faculty and bring glory to his Fatherland and Alma Mater, our souls' beloved and loving parents!