Dialogue: Dazed and Confused

Tool

How much longer you keep me here?! I need to, like, get my fucking nails done!

The studio will make you pay for this! Every day is millions lost. MILLIONS!

V

1AThe hell's this?

Tool

1AGreat question! This pervert is keeping me locked in here against my will!

V

1BLina Malina. She around?

Tool

1BI am Lina Malina! Queen Bitch of Dogtown! Listen, get me out of here, and I'll… I'll let you take me out to dinner! Maybe.

1BHey, babydoll! Eyes up! Stared at my tits long enough. Bash this asshole in the head and take me home!

I am Lina Malina! Queen Bitch of Dogtown! Listen, get me out of here, and I'll… I'll let you take me out to dinner! Maybe.

Hey, babydoll! Eyes up! Stared at my tits long enough. Bash this asshole in the head and take me home!

Shank

Put a sock in it, dumbass!

Ahem… Gonk in the booth's my friend and, uh, partner – Tool.

Johnny

And here I thought we had a fucked up partnership.

Shank

Let's go upstairs before he gets too riled up. I'll explain everything.

V

2AThis is gonna be good. Can feel it.

Shank

2AJesus Christ...

V

2BAin't lookin' good. Would look even worse if you can't explain why you're holdin' this poor gonk 'gainst his will.

2CTook on a gig to find a Lina Malina, free her. Well, here I am at "Brainporium" – don't see anyone else under lock an' key...

Shank

2CFuck, he must've called a fixer 'fore I jammed his comms, paid to have himself busted out.

2CC'mon, choom, you're not gonna stand there with a straight face and tell me THAT's Lina Malina.

V

3AGot sixty seconds to tell me what the fuck's goin' on here.

Shank

3ADo it in less than that. Follow me upstairs.

V

3BYeah, sorry, I don't buy it. Let her out.

Shank

3BYou fucking weirdos deserve each other.

Tool

4AWill you finally let me out, or did you just come here to jerk off?

V

4AYou for real, Edgar? This really necessary?

Tool

4AWho the fuck is Edgar? Are you skezzed?

V

4AHm, needs a stronger kick to shake some sense into 'im…

V

6AAfter you, m'lady.

Tool

6AI knew I could count on you, did what every true Lina Malina fan would do.

6APucker up, babydoll.

V

7AAll right.

7BNah, nah, better if we don't. I got a, um… cold-sore. Yeah.

6AAlmost too easy, that. And to think it all went by so quick…

Tool

6ATune in for my next BD!

6AYou're wearing my face-plate! You even copied my shoes! Have you no shame, bitch?!

Shank

6AI don't fucking believe this bullshit!

Tool

6ACongratulations, loser! You get one free ticket to having the shit kicked out of you by my boys. Ciaoooo!

6AI knew I could count on you, did what every true Lina Malina fan would do.

6APucker up, babydoll.

6AI knew I could count on you, did what every true Lina Malina fan would do.

6AI knew I could count on you, did what every true Lina Malina fan would do.

V

8AOK, I'll get Lina down here. Just need her address.

Shank

8ASent. If we scroll something preem, I'll throw in a little extra.

V

8ASounds like a bulletproof plan. What could go wrong?

8AThis is ridiculous. No way I'm gettin' mixed up in it.

Shank

8AWell, holler if you change your mind. Gotta stay put, keep an eye on lard-ass – make sure he doesn't turn this place upside down.

8AAnd? Make up your mind?

V

8BWho's this Lina chick, anyway?

Shank

8BShe scrolls BDs. Gonzo content in sparkly packaging.

8BRuns with a gang, fucks DJs, snorts designer drugs and tears up the streets in tricked-out rides while squirtin' lead out the window.

V

8CNot afraid Tool might stay this way forever?

Shank

8CNaahh, he'll be fine. Sometimes peeps go a little whackadoodle post virtu. Trust me, I've seen it all.

8CMore worried about those BARGHEST pricks comin' to collect. 'Cause right now we're makin' as much as a joytoy with erectile dysfunction.

V

4AYou for real, Edgar? This really necessary?

Tool

4AWho the fuck is Edgar? Are you skezzed?

V

4AHm, needs a stronger kick to shake some sense into 'im…

4ADon't got the key.

Tool

4AUgh! Then fucking find it!

V

4ADon't got the key.

Tool

4AUgh! Then fucking find it!

4AWill you finally let me out, or did you just come here to jerk off?

Shank

Figurin' as you're already a witness to this whole mess – might have a job for you.

V

9ANo doubt, sich is a little strange. But who am I to say? I ain't a ripper.

Shank

9ASince you're here... willin' to pay top eddies if you can help with a little somethin'.

9A'S about capitalizing on the present state of affairs. Catch my drift?

V

9AI don't, no.

Shank

9ALook, store's barely stayin' afloat. Nobody's buyin' our scrolls and Hansen's bleedin' us dry in rent.

9AYeah, head's nova, catches your eye, but let's not kid ourselves – folks in Dogtown ain't ample of the wallet.

V

10AYour choom loses touch with reality and you're anglin' to make a quick eurobuck?

Shank

10AOh, please. Don't need a merc lecturin' me on ethical biz practices.

10AGotta stay and keep an eye on Tool, make sure he doesn't off himself or break something.

10AYou go get Lina and bring her here for a BD shoot. We'll do a collab, call it "Doppelgangbanger."

10ALina gets content for an episode, store's rep gets a boost from her fans. Win-win.

V

11AOK, I'll get Lina down here. Just need her address.

Shank

11ASent. If we scroll something preem, I'll throw in a little extra.

V

11ASounds like a bulletproof plan. What could go wrong?

11BNot afraid Tool might stay this way forever?

Shank

11BNaahh, he'll be fine. Sometimes peeps go a little whackadoodle post virtu. Trust me, I've seen it all.

11BMore worried about those BARGHEST pricks comin' to collect. 'Cause right now we're makin' as much as a joytoy with erectile dysfunction.

V

11CEh, Lina's rich and famous, prolly gets offers like these all the time. What makes you think she won't just blow us off?

Shank

11CAin't that simple. Markets herself like a star 'cause that's what sells, but in reality she's still waitin' for that big break.

V

10BYou wanna attract more customers – I get it, but... where do I fit into all this?

10CI take serious gigs and the scratch to match. Better off askin' a choom.

Shank

10CFor this I need someone with thick skin. Might involve gettin' into a big-dick contest with Lina's entourage of gangoons.

V

9BYour choom needs a ripper, stat. Take it you wanna get him some help.

Shank

9BEh, no need. Tool'll get back to normal in no time.

V

9CWho's this Lina chick, anyway?

Shank

9CShe scrolls BDs. Gonzo content in sparkly packaging.

9CRuns with a gang, fucks DJs, snorts designer drugs and tears up the streets in tricked-out rides while squirtin' lead out the window.

This bein' Dogtown, few days ago we had a power surge. BD wreath was pullin' juice while Tool was, well, bein' Lina.

BD got stuck in his head, sizzled his synapses. Ever since then, he thinks he's the real Lina Malina. Talks like her, acts like her. The whole works.

Tool's been a die-hard fan of Lina since the beginning. Relives all of her BDs.

Tool

Fuck, I should be scrolling! You're tanking my sales, my popularity!

Mark my words, assholes! My boys will find me, they'll bust me out of this shithole!

Now hurry up and let me out.

Let me go, you... You torturer!

Shank

Sit your ass down and shut your yap. Need to think.

Tool

You want ransom, no? One call and my guy is here with the cash. One call!

Shank

Cash? Psh, don't got so much as a fuckin' enny, wrecked half the store. What a day…

Johnny

What a fuckin' mess.

V

S'like the place was robbed.

Johnny

Oughta help this poor gonk, not scroll him like some zoo animal.

V

What would you do?

Johnny

Talk to a ripper, or someone who knows a thing or two about virtus.

V

12AThis Tool's private collection?

Shank

12ANah, just scrolls Tool was supposed to do maintenance on.

Tool

Now hurry up and let me out.

Congratulations, loser! You get one free ticket to having the shit kicked out of you by my boys. Ciaoooo!

So what then? Wanna fuck me, is that it? Bump uglies? Do the nasty with luscious, little Lina?

What're you waiting for, big boy? Let me show you what I can do.

Shank

Jesus Christ...

V

All right.

Tool

I knew I could count on you, did what every true Lina Malina fan would do.

Pucker up, babydoll.

Shank

Jesus Christ...

Ganger female

Want your chrome ripped out of you? No? Then fuck off.

V

1ANice digs. Who lives here?

Ganger female

1AThe fuck you care? Turn around and keep walking, choom.

V

1BEasy, I'm from the studio. Lina, poor thing, firmware update's got her feelin' the weather. Migraine, she says.

1BMelanie's takin' her to the spa, but tomorrow she'll be back scrolling "Scav Party" – no change in schedule.

Ganger male

1BThe fucking primadonna. Was supposed to have dinner at my mom's, but no – scroll, scroll scroll. Ah, fuck this, I'm leaving.

V

3AShe's not here. Guess we wait.

Johnny

4AShit, there's Lina. Pretend you're someone important, lay some, uh, studio cool on her.

V

4ADon't need actin' pointers from you, Johnny.

Lina Malina

4AUgh, let me guess, another stalker? How long you been waiting here, hm? All night? Want me to sign your tits?

4AWhere's my crew? We're supposed to shoot and they're not fucking here. Amateurs.

4AHeh. Anyway, you want an autograph or something?

V

5AI'm a talent scout for BD Syndicate and boy – oh, do I have the perfect role for you.

5AWe're piloting a new BD show and if it takes off and you've got good chemistry with the co-star, we'll dive straight into full production.

Lina Malina

5AWoah, slow down, lady. I might be easy, but I'm not cheap. And I always charge an advance.

V

6AAin't a problem. Transferrin' now.

Lina Malina

6AWow. You really know how to impress a girl, huh?

V

6AI take it we've got a deal?

Lina Malina

6AWe do.

6ADid you bring me my script?

V

6AUh, won't be needin' one. It's all improvised.

6ASending you the address. I'll meet you there tonight. The producer, Shank, he'll be waiting for you on location.

Lina Malina

6AUff, gotta get ready, do my makeup, nails… Thanks, sweetie. Ciao!

V

6BWe don't do advances. Sorry, studio policy.

Lina Malina

6BNo advance, no deal.

V

6BIt's for good reason. Talent that signs with us get twenty per cent of the total revenue in sales. What's not to like?

Lina Malina

6BMhm, I don't buy it. You people always find a way to fuck me over. What if it doesn't sell? I'll have twenty percent of nothing.

V

6BLook, our analysts back at HQ crunched the data. Our psychological models tell us that higher income precarity equals higher talent performance equals higher sales revenues. It's simple science.

Lina Malina

6BI guess when I think about it, "twenty percent" makes me kind of wet…

V

6CDid I mention who you'd be co-starring with…?

Lina Malina

6CNo. Who?

V

7ASee for yourself.

Lina Malina

7AFuck me…! Kerry Eurodyne! And the girls from Us Cracks!

V

6DBD called "The Passion". Heard of it?

Lina Malina

6DWho hasn't? Big premiere, controversy, protests. Sold millions of copies.

V

6DWorked with the producer, Rachel. Been in the biz for a while.

Lina Malina

6DKnew your mordechka was familiar! You nailed that Jesus-freak to the cross!

6DSorry for doubting you. Had to make sure you were legit. Got no idea how many times I've been conned…

V

6ENeed to talk to my boss. Let you know as soon as I get the green light.

Lina Malina

6ELook, baby, it's simple – if there's no money, there's nothing to discuss.

6EI'll leave you my number. When you're done tickling his balls and get your allowance, let me know.

V

5BMelanie shifted your schedule today. You're scrolling the pilot for a new show called "Lina and TooLina."

5BJust dropped by to make sure you'd make it.

Lina Malina

5BUgh, why am I always last find out about this stuff? Sometimes I feel like a fucking… puppet, or something.

5BLook at that, a surprise shoot. Ugh, gotta hurry up if I want to make it.

V

5CListen, there's this guy I know… had an accident while reliving your BDs. Seriously fucked with his head.

5CCould really help if you talked to him.

Lina Malina

5CDo I look like a fucking nun to you? If he's sick, take him to a clinic. And get the fuck off my property.

Johnny

5CAaand the end! Tune in next time for V's adventures in Dogtown!

V

5CGee, thanks.

V

9A'Kay, let's just tell her where things stand. Tool had an accident, he's delusional and only meeting Lina will help…

9AShe looks hard enough, maybe she'll find a shred of human compassion within her.

Johnny

9APlease. Chick's been packaged as a BD product. Last I checked, products don't have feelings.

Lina Malina

9AHey! Wake up!

4AJesus fucking Christ! Did you see what happened?

V

10AThey were like this when I got here.

10ACase of wrong place, wrong time. Sorry for your loss, if they were chooms o' yours that is.

Lina Malina

10AUgh, great. What a mess. I'll have to call Melanie, tell her to reopen casting.

V

10BThings got a liiiittle outta hand. Had to defend myself.

Lina Malina

10BShit, shit, sweet fucking Jesus...

Johnny

10BSmooth. Real smooth.

Lina Malina

4APerfect! Just what we fucking needed – for them to shoot their brains off mid-production!

4AIf only I could have scrolled it… What a waste…

V

1CWord in Dogtown's that you're on BARGHEST's shitlist. Suggest you delta while they're spread thin lookin'.

Ganger female

1CHow the fuck would you know?

V

1CPaid me to tally you up, scan your gear, but if I'm bein' honest? Fuck those guys. Shot a choom of mine last year.

Ganger male

1CScrew this, we're outta here. Not getting paid to eat lead.

V

1D'S funny. Placed a bet on the body-count lottery and guess what? Only four bodies away from my lucky number.

Ganger female

Want your chrome ripped out of you? No? Then fuck off.

Johnny

Would ya look at that. Gangoons moonlightin' as extras. Turns out crime really doesn't pay…

Still gotta find a way to get rid of 'em. Won't chat up Lina if she leaves with them for her shoot.

V

Gotta be some way I can use this info, take 'em out of the picture.

Johnny

Oughta get rid of these bodies. Don't think Lina'll be thrilled to see half her crew wiped out.

Oughta get rid of these bodies. Don't think Lina'll be thrilled to see half her crew wiped out.

Better get rid of 'em 'fore they steal our little starlet.

V

Wanna try talkin' to 'em, first. Could be chooms of Lina.

V

11AScheduled her for a shoot with Tool. Here's hopin' she buys it.

No dice. Her systems are ICE'd to the gills. Plan B. Gonna have to convince her somehow.

Gonna be hard convincin' Lina if she catches me breakin' in. Better off waitin' for her outside.

Lina Malina

"Dear Lina, I've been following you ever since the beginning when you were making those crazy amateur BDs with those bikers from the Badlands."

"I'm going through a difficult time right now. Life kicked me pretty hard in the ass. I can only get a break when I'm being you. Thanks for the preem content."

"I know you're putting your body and soul into these BDs. Your biggest fan, Edgar Tool."

Tool

Urgh. Aaargh!

Woah, you look just like Lina Malina.

Lina Malina

I AM Lina Malina.

Tool

Listen, I know life is hard and you do stuff to try and escape, like pretending to be someone else.

But at some point you have to accept who you really are. We all do.

Lina Malina

Am I being punked?

Tool

You're wearing my face-plate! You even copied my shoes! Have you no shame, bitch?!

I won't let this go. These looks are copyright protected, OK?! You will be paying me for the rest of your life.

Lina Malina

Your looks, fatso? YOURS?!

Tool

Bag, shoes, glasses – all custom-made. Lina Malina is a registered trademark, you fucking copy-cat bitch.

Lina Malina

OK, like, this is fucking weird... How am I even supposed to act?

V

2AAll right, people – director on set! Someone's gotta take the reins.

V

3AConvince him he's your long-lost sister.

Lina Malina

3AUm, OK? If that's your vision…

V

3AIt's all part of the plan. Go get 'em, tiger.

Lina Malina

3ALittle sis…

3ARemember our first apartment in Heywood? Sandwiched between an All Foods and a Kang Tao warehouse...?

3AWe had this swing out of Thorton tires and rebars! You made it for me.

3AI thought I lost you for ever, and... and here you are!

3AYou have to remember. Please.

Tool

3ANo… I can't believe it. It's impossible…!

Lina Malina

3AWe were always like two little peas in a pod.

Tool

3ASister… It's really you…!

Lina Malina

3ADidn't turn out bad, huh? Wasn't sure at first, but… I think we've got a good chemistry.

3AWe scrolling anything else?

Shank

3AThat's a wrap for today, but you were amazing.

Lina Malina

3AWell, better get going then. Send me your shooting schedule. Ciaooo, cuties!

Shank

3AHoly shit. She wants to keep scrolling with us.

3APreem work. You went above and beyond my expectations.

V

4AYou all right?

Tool

4AIsn't she just gorgeous…? Feels like only yesterday I was braiding her hair.

V

4BEverything OK?

Tool

4BPutting on fashion shows with mama's clothes.

4BWe have so much to catch up on!

V

5AClearly, got a talent for BD show-biz.

5BNuff with the ass-kissin'. Pony up.

Shank

3ATransferrin' your eddies now.

3AMan, did not expect today to turn out like this.

V

6AAaaaand cut!

3BTell him he's a clone and that he was made by the FIA.

Lina Malina

3BI don't know... It doesn't sound believable.

V

3BIt's all part of the plan. Go get 'em, tiger.

Lina Malina

3BIsn't it weird we look so alike? You're a spitting image of me.

Tool

3BYou're just copying me – there, puzzle solved.

Lina Malina

3BHmm. And you say you're the real Lina Malina?

Tool

3BThe one and only.

Lina Malina

3BDo you remember your parents? Your first period? Anything from your past, before, um… this?

Tool

3BI… I don't-- You're trying to gaslight me!

Lina Malina

3BI'm not, I would never! You can't remember... because you're a clone!

3BYou were created in a Biotechnica lab under the FIA's orders to take my place as an NUSA spy in Night City.

Tool

3BMy entire life... it's a lie?

3BWait, if you know who I am, then my cover must be blown. I'm a liability, not an asset.

3BOh God, they're going to kill me to wipe their tracks!

Lina Malina

3BThat guy's acting was super convincing. He had, like, this weird vibe, though. Brr.

3BListen, I dunno if this is really my style. I'll think about it and get back to you. Thanks for… this, though. Ciaooo!

Shank

3BDidn't jive with her, huh? Yeah, this kind of dark political intrigue ain't really her brand.

V

7AWelp, that's my job done. Did my part.

7BWasn't so bad. Got your little promo virtu.

Shank

3B'Course, yeah, transferrin' now.

3BGonna tune this and see if I can't turn it into something.

3BNow I just gotta find Tool 'fore he causes any more trouble. Luckily, I set up parental controls on his tracker.

3BWhere'd you go, butterbones…

V

3CSending you your lines. Just read 'em out loud.

Lina Malina

3COK... Got them.

3C"Dear Lina, I've been following you ever since the beginning when you were making those crazy amateur BDs with those bikers from the Badlands."

3C"I'm going through a difficult time right now. Life kicked me pretty hard in the ass. I can only get a break when I'm being you. Thanks for the preem content."

3C"I know you're putting your body and soul into these BDs. Your biggest fan, Edgar Tool."

Tool

3CWoah!

3CYou look just like Lina Malina!

Lina Malina

3CI AM Lina Malina.

Tool

3CListen, I know life is hard and you do stuff to try and escape, like pretending to be someone else.

3CBut at some point you have to accept who you really are. We all do.

Lina Malina

3CAm I being punked?

V

8AGot you good, didn't we? Should've seen the look on your face.

8BFormulaic, conventional narratives are so last-gen. This is art, OK? A study of the labyrinth of the human soul.

Lina Malina

3CWhat a bunch of amateurs. I'm outta here.

Tool

3CShank, don't sell her any more BDs.

Shank

3CUhh... Thanks for the help. Settle your fee in a sec.

Tool

3CWhat the-- Shank! What the fuck am I wearing?

Shank

3CAhem. Heeey, Tool. Glad you're back, heh.

Tool

3CBack? Fuck do you mean, "back"?!

Shank

3CTell you all about it later, 'kay...? No need to drag our, uh, customers into this.

V

9AEverything OK?

Tool

9AHangover. Feels like there's hot runny shit swirlin' in my head. Can barely remember the last few days.

Johnny

3CCan't believe I'm sayin' this, but sometimes you actually manage to do shit right.

V

3CGee, thanks.

Johnny

3CCan't believe I'm sayin' this, but sometimes you actually manage to do shit right.

V

3CGee, thanks.

V

All right, people – director on set! Someone's gotta take the reins.

Lina Malina

Isn't it weird we look so alike? You're a spitting image of me.

Tool

You're just copying me – there, puzzle solved.

Lina Malina

Hmm. And you say you're the real Lina Malina?

Tool

The one and only.

Lina Malina

Do you remember your parents? Your first period? Anything from your past, before, um… this?

Tool

I… I don't-- You're trying to gaslight me!

Lina Malina

I'm not, I would never! You can't remember... because you're a clone!

You were created in a Biotechnica lab under the FIA's orders to take my place as an NUSA spy in Night City.

Tool

My entire life... it's a lie?

Wait, if you know who I am, then my cover must be blown. I'm a liability, not an asset.

Oh God, they're going to kill me to wipe their tracks!

Urgh. Aaargh!

V

Everything OK?

Lina Malina

Let her through – she's with us.

V

2AHey, quick selfie – all three of us?

Tool

2AUhh, duh! Get your cute tush over here!

V

3AAny plans for the future?

Lina Malina

3AYou even need to ask? We'll conquer Night City, duh!

Tool

3AAnd then Manhattan, Paris, Berlin!

V

3BSee ya around.

Lina Malina

3BOr on top, or under, honeybuns!

2ALet's hit the Town, bitchpups!

Tool

2ALet's hit the Town, bitchpups!

Lina Malina

Let's hit the Town, bitchpups!

Tool

Let's hit the Town, bitchpups!

Lina Malina

Let's hit the Town, bitchpups!

Tool

Let's hit the Town, bitchpups!

Shank

Oh, it's you. How goes it?

V

1AYou unleash that BD onto the Net already?

Shank

1ASure did, right after I tuned it. Had a spike in sales. This keeps up, we'll do lots better than breakin' even.

V

1BWhat about Tool? Did you find him?

Shank

1BHe's stewin' in a lock-up in Westbrook. Broke into a ripper's clinic, tried to force him to do a faceplate conversion at gunpoint.

1BPoor gonk... I'll pick him up from the precinct when I have time.

V

1CLet's see what you've got.

Shank

1CBrowse away to your heart's content.

V

2AWhat's up? What happened to your dainty threads?

2AGot sucked into that BD pretty good, huh.

Tool

2AShank, that asshole... Can't believe he scrolled me.

2AThis ain't over 'tween me an' him.

V

3ALet's see what you've got.

Shank

3ABrowse away to your heart's content.

V

4AIt's nothin' personal. Gig's a gig.

4AIt's nothin' personal. Gig's a gig.

Shank

4AHere's a gig for you – get the fuck outta my store.

4AAnd if you ever step foot in here again, I'm gonna shove every BD we've got up your ass.

Oh, it's you. How goes it?

V

5AWhat happened to our BD? Anything come of it?

Shank

5AAs if. Lina sicced her rabid lawyers on us.

5AWe show so much as a frame of it, they'll bleed us till we go bust.

V

5BLet's see what you've got.

Shank

5BBrowse away to your heart's content.

V

6AIt's a dud, no scrollin'. Lina ain't interested.

Shank

6AFuck... Well, can't say I'm surprised. Thanks for trying.

V

6BHow's your partner?

Shank

6BSleeping. Gave him some pills, then I'll take him to the ripper's.

6BIf he's not his old self soon, I'm gonna have to close up shop. Can't do everything myself.

Johnny

7A"Dear Lina, I've been following you ever since the beginning when you were making those crazy amateur BDs with those bikers from the Badlands."

7A"I'm going through a difficult time right now. Life kicked me pretty hard in the ass. I can only catch a break when I'm being you. Thanks for the preem content."

7A"I know you're putting your body and soul into these BDs. Your biggest fan, Edgar Tool."

7ACute. Startin' to wish I hadn't burned all my fan mail.

V

7AHandwritten, heartfelt too. Musta been important, gettin' this to 'er.

V

8BHow's your partner?

Shank

8BIf he's not his old self soon, I'm gonna have to close up shop. Can't do everything myself.