Pixel Fortress

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Roach Race's pixelated protagonist may have never won a championship in equestrian show jumping, but she has won the hearts of retro game fans around the world. We're left asking: Is she worthy?

The journey of this glitchy, often bipedal mare as overcomes wave after wave of obstacles was clearly created to serve as tribute to other arcade classics. Roach Race treats players to eye-catching visuals and a wicked soundtrack that stretches the potential of 8-bit gaming to its zenith. The controls are largely intuitive, though newcomers have been known to complain. (It doesn't help that the game lacks a tutorial.) While some players have bemoaned the quirky control system, others welcome the unintended skill gap which, they say, "keeps filthy casuals off the leaderboard. "

Yet... from a narrative perspective, we ended our time with Roach Race still guessing at the protagonist's motivations. A topic on which the creators have long remained silent.

Is it commentary on late-stage capitalism – a metaphor for the ceaseless corporate treadmill, always racing for another carrot? But then what or whom does the horse's white-haired tormentor represent? Was the vagueness of her motivation a deliberate design choice, intended to suit any player's interpretation or personal experience? Or maybe... it's just a game about a horse. Hungry for snacks and giving her owner grief.

We recommend hopping in the saddle and deciding for yourselves.

Arasaka Tower... the mere mention of which causes Arasaka corporate lawyers to start violently convulsing and hot-dialing their spec ops teams. Though the game saw the light of day a decade ago, it's still very much a bone of legal contention. Its sale was outlawed on all continents and only exists today in the form of pirate copies on the black market and in the farthest corners of the Net. On the 10th anniversary of the game's release, we're here to remind you what really happened.

"Arasaka Tower" is a simple arcade hack-'n'-slash set in the offices of the eponymous corporation. The player takes on the role of an anonymous middle manager whose goal is to go floor by floor until he reaches his boss's office. The way to the top won't be easy though, which is why the developers supply you with an arsenal of unconventional weapons - from staplers and rolls of duct tape, to photocopiers, fire extinguishers, reception desks and a security guard named Bob who's pissed off about his low salary.

More importantly, on every floor you come across, you can find a variety of classified documents. Their contents are so comprehensive and suspiciously authentic that many have wondered if the developers hadn't actually made them up. Could it be... this game is, in fact, a cleverly disguised data leak from the heart of the corporation? Or maybe a false flag operation meant to throw off the competition?

Whatever the case, Arasaka Tower (the game) has birthed a slew of conspiracy theories. Apparently, a few players who managed to reach the top disappeared under suspicious circumstances (IRL). Rumor has it, at the top one can find confirmation of the data leak from the corporation's highest echelons. Apparently Hanako Arasaka (talented netrunner in her own right) once dreamed of a career in game development... You see where we're going with this?

As with many conspiracy theories, maybe this one also contains a grain of truth. In any case, if the editorial staff of Pixel Fortress mysteriously disappears, you'll know we've been paid a visit by men in tailored, Japanese suits.

Things are heating up again in Heywood! The NCPD reports that 6th Street and the Valentinos are at each other's throats again after a brief hiatus of relative calm. Our report? Big Trouble in Little Heywood is BACK after months of obscurity and is topping the charts of the most popular games! Coincidence???

In case you missed it... Big Trouble in Little Heywood is an augmented reality (AR) game that has players taking on the role of seasoned, grizzled badges with who've been in the NCPD for too damn long. Although bitter and jaded, they're still ready to step up as the last line of defense in a city rotten to the core with vice and corruption. Their goal? Liberate Heywood from El Chamuco Endiablado - an S.O.B. like no other - and his merciless goons.

You won't find any deep meaning here: it's a straight run 'n' gun, shoot 'em up, race against time to drop as many gangers as you can. That a problem? Didn't think so! 'Cause it's the best part of the game! And let's not forget the preem retrowave soundtrack that gives Big Trouble in Little Heywood its distinctive flair.

No matter how you slice it, in virtual Heywood YOU are the one dishing out justice and leaving ganger corpses in your wake. As opposed to the real Heywood, where... well, you know how it is. And now you can see why this game is experiencing a resurgence in popularity unseen since its original release. It even snagged the honor of being voted our "Game of the Week", surpassing even the likes of all-time hits like Interstellar Commander 6!

The legendary Interstellar Commander series is BACK! After years of anticipation fans can once again board the Burgundy and travel at light speed to save the galaxy. But can the sixth installment of this beloved franchise still pack the same "oomph"? Or has it devolved into a lukewarm pile of "meh"? We've got the answer!

Interstellar Commander 6: The Hunt for Baron Octavian still has everything that made us gush the series' previous entries. Spectacular battles on dazzling space stations? Check! Exploration of jaw-dropping exoplanets? You got it! Shocking plot twists? Affirmative! Yes, the controversial ending has been hard for some die-hard fans to swallow, but you'll have to experience it for yourself.

Your mission: to track down the infamous, yet charismatic Baron Octavian who ticks all the boxes of a villain on a galactic scale. Our interaction with him largely depends on whether we go down the Paladin or the Scoundrel path. Multiple playthroughs are well worth the chance to discover the many facets of Octavian! It's just too bad the devs didn't make him into a romance option... but hey, that's what mods are for, right?

Speaking of romance, we should emphasize that this adventure isn't just a rollercoaster ride of emotions, but also gives opportunities to really, erm... form deeper connections with your crewmembers and strengthen bonds with previous characters from the franchise.

The popularity of a certain braindance of dubious quality and origin (relive at your own peril) which lets you find out whether the Burgundy's cannon is a worthy substitute for a bed (spoiler: it isn't), leads us to believe players of all genders and tastes will be pleased. Especially given the return of all-time favorite Garriux, who hasn't lost an ounce of enthusiasm for carrying out his, ahem, calibrations...

Long story short, hunting down Baron Octavian across the universe is going to be helluva good time for all diehard fans of the series. As for you new potential players out there, how will you feel in the commander's polished space boots? Confident and capable, we hope! After all, the galaxy won't save itself!

A title we never asked for, and a title we don't deserve. Indie French studio Château de Rais has returned us once again to the pitiable fate of the medieval peasant. While the previous two installments were criticized for clumsy gameplay and overall lack of realism (and rightly so, we all remember the infamous "path of the fire shaman"), the franchise's creators have learned from these difficult lessons. They now invite players to experience "the harshest autumn of the Middle Ages" using a revamped VR system. After several hours of early-access gameplay, we can confirm – this is no mere marketing ploy.

Let's start with the fact that FPS3 offers only one difficulty setting: "Sick & Feeble". The in-game tasks themselves seem relatively straightforward. Hauling sacks of grain and buckets of shit from place to place was right in my character's wheelhouse from the get-go. Grooming horses, digging ditches, pitching tents in peat bogs, on the other hand... not so much. And this game shows no mercy. The tiniest slip-up and you're at the end of a whip or under your lord's boot. Also, the fact that the NPCs speak exclusively in Old French or Latin doesn't make things any easier. Turn on the subtitles, you say? Sorry, there aren't any. Peasants are illiterate, after all.

Now a quick word about the highly touted world exploration system. All map traversal takes place in real time. Now, technically you play as a serf, bound to your lord's estate. You can try to hide yourself in an outgoing wagon, covered in horse manure. If you do and are discovered, you guessed it – crack of the whip. Great, you're at low health, but eating the moldy bread and rotten turnips in your inventory doesn't help. All that gave you was dysentery. BUT, this is where the realism and world reactivity shine. Dysentery means frequent trips to the bushes. Hiding in a bush helped me set a survival PR of 5 hours. Of course, in the end, I was still flogged to death by some noble French asshole who had a lot to say (mean things, I assume).

Ultimately, Feudal Peasant Simulator 3 presents an interesting question: At what point does suffering in a sim go from fun times to genuinely insufferable times? I don't exactly know how this is possible, but I think this game actually gave me real-world back problems. 10/10, would play again. This title is a must have for history buffs with masochistic tendencies. Knowledge of Old French recommended.