Muamar "El Capitan" Reyes

Gig type: Agent Saboteur
Objective: Bring down propaganda machine slandering Weldon Holt
Location: Garage on Oak St.
Details:

Politics. Only thing slimier than the thongs at Licks. At least corpos usually tell you to your face how they're gonna screw you in the end. Fake smiles, impossible promises, shameless pandering – all foreplay till they fuck you in the ass and pay themselves for it with eddies outta your wallet. It's in their nature. And what's in ours? Blowing shit up. Got just such a gig for you this time.

6th Street's got a stiffy for Jefferson Peralez so they have these servers pumping out anti-Holt propaganda. They see Peralez becoming mayor as like the second coming of Abraham Lincoln or some shit, here to unite the city with the NUSA. Naive gonks.

TL;DR – My client wants 6th Street's propaganda machine gone. Simple.

You did it, V! Just got word that virus is blazing toward the servers like a fucking asteroid! Preem work, and thanks. Closing the gig.

Oh boy… The "patriots" of 6th Street got their undies up in a bunch cuz a certain someone sabotaged Peralez's squeaky clean campaign. Stupidity hurts, but a spray of bullets in the back hurts more. Don't let these gonks catch up with you.

Gig type: Search and Recover
Objective: Retrieve the Zetatech data Juliet Horrigan owes El Capitán
Location: House on Gibson St.
Details:

I like everyone to know I'm patient, understanding. I realize there's a time for work and a time for family. Without a good work-life balance we'd all blast our brains out. I get it, I do. But... disappearing for 2 weeks cuz of "family issues?" That how Juliet thinks of me? How much she respects me? I love her cuz she's ripped so much nova data outta Zetatech for me, but man she's starting to hurt my feelings, you know?

Go to her place, see what her deal is. But remember – #1 priority is that data she still owes me. Juliet's nova and all, but if she's got a problem with that, well... like I said, data is prio #1.

What happened to Juliet, V... Fuuuuuuck. She never mentioned she had a sister. It's a cryin' shame… Thanks for grabbin' that data, V. Gig's closed. I'll, uh... I'll be in touch.

Gig type: Thievery
Objective: Steal documents incriminating Matheus Stove
Location: Kendachi Factory, El Camino Rd
Details:

Your mom ever tell you saying "two wrongs don't make a right"? Yeah, well we're the third one.
Kendachi's about to select a new director of some shit department or other – that part doesn't matter. What's important is it's two candidates for one gig. Know where this is going, right? Bingo – one of 'em is my client and he wants dirt on his new arch-nemesis Matheus Stove.

Main problem is that Stove's the human equivalent of unseasoned, boiled scop. He's bland, he's boring. No bodies in his backyard, no dates with minors, nothing. But there's no way a guy in his position in a place like Night City is 100% dirt-free. I mean there's no fuckin' way.

Couple contacts of mine say Stove has a few strings tied to the Valentinos. You need to slip into his office and slip a few files off his computer. If we're lucky, we get something to back up the rumors, costing Mr. Squeaky-clean Stove his shot at the promotion.

Received. Job's done – get outta there.

Beautiful work, V. Stove's finished even if he don't know it yet. Big thanks. Contract's closed and the eddies're flyin' at ya.

Gig type: Gun for Hire
Target: Logan Garcia
Location: Old Paint Factory on Baptiste St.
Details:

Target's name is one Logan Garcia. He runs an Animals fight club. Used to fight himself, actually. Still gets in the ring from time to time. Problem is he doesn't know when to put on the brakes. Recently he knocked his sparring buddy, Lenny Steiner, to the mat with a giant dent in his skull. Except instead of calling for help, he had the kid thrown in the bay with a cinderblock tied round his neck.

The kid's mom, Monica Steiner, wants justice for her sweet baby boy, Lenny. More importantly, she's willing to pay to get it. Do the job, it's yours. Minus my modest cut, of course.

Hey, just got intel that Logan Garcia's knockin' at the pearly gates. Client's very happy, and so am I. Closing the contract and sending the green your way.

Hey, just got intel that Logan Garcia's on his way to me now. Preemest of the preem. Tied this gig up real nice, V.

Gig type: Search and Recover
Objective: Retrieve a container containing beta acid
Location: Dewdrop Inn
Details:

This ain't too complicated, you know the drill. Something slipped through somebody's fingers and it's your job to get it back. Got this choom, Doug – Denver Doug – a ripper. Recently did this patch job on a 6th street dickhole and when he took off Denver noticed a gallon of beta acid gone missing. Dunno wtf he uses it for but that 6er knows all kinds of shit can get cooked from it on the street. 1+1 = a dealer klepped it.

So Denver hired a guy, Booker Updike, to find the missing acid, then POOF – he's a ghost. Last seen at the Dewdrop Inn in Arroyo. Head over there, get your hands on that beta, and if you got a minute, find out what happened to this Booker guy.

So, V, the beta acid's secure? Padrísimo. And I'm puttin' you down for ten bonus points for solvin' the mystery of Booker's fate. It's clean work, V. Contract's closed, gratitude's on the way.

Well, I have the beta acid, but still got no clue what happened with Booker. Expected more from you, V. Closing this one and filing it under "Meh..."

Gig type: SOS: Merc Needed
Objective: Jasmine Dixon
Location: Psychiatric ward on Sequoia St.
Details:

I'm not a fan of badges. They stick their nose in other people's biz, give ordinary people a hard time, do the corps' bidding. But sometimes it's worth getting into bed with your enemies – at least they'll owe you something for later.

There's this badge, Jasmine Dixon. She's been patrolling NC streets since '61, reached the rank of sergeant. One day at the precinct she heard something she shouldn't've. Instead of keeping her mouth shut, she took it to her supervisor. The next day they wheeled her off to a psych ward. The kind where they prescribe lobotomies and electrotherapy.

Her husband will do anything to help her and as far as payment goes, "anything" is as good as it gets. You'll get your standard rate, of course. So, whaddya say? Gotta help a couple in need, don't you think?

Understood. Car's headin your way.

V, you were supposed to get Jasmine to the ride. The chick's in shock – she doesn't know up from down! What if she made a wrong turn or-- Look, you're lucky she made it, OK?

Solid work, V. Jasmine's on her way to her dearest husband. Shit, think I might even cry. Job well done, V. Closing the gig.

Gig type: SOS: Merc Needed
Objective: Rescue Flavio dos Santos
Location: Mallagra St.
Details:

6th Street got shaken up with an internal coup, the boss took a bullet in the back of the head. The guy who filled his shoes was the same who pulled the trigger – they call him Gunner. The new bossman has unleashed a purge to rid the gang of all the people loyal to the last chief. My client, Flavio, is next in line to get shot and he'd very much like to skip town.

Already struck a deal with the nomads who agreed to ship him to the other coast. All you have to do is escort Flavio to the place their guide will pick him up. Little problem to note: there's already a price on our friend's head, so he's gotta watch it.

Sending you coords of where Flavio's holed up. You need to get there, load him into your ride, and deliver to the nomads ASAP. Keep your iron at the ready and don't forget to always check your mirrors. 6th St gave him a death sentence so any tails on his ass are likely to be hot.

Not good, V. Not good at all. Flavio's worm-chow and what's worse – my street cred took a hit. And you know there's nothing worth more to a fixer than their cred. I'm not the vindictive type, so I'll let this slide. But I've got a good memory – consider this strike one. Next time better be a home run.

Now that's what I call pro mercwork! Flavio's yappin' my ears off, says he's never met anyone tougher than you. Bet it's gonna stay that way for a while. Rare breed – mercs like you. Contract's closed, already flicked the eds your way.

Expect some company, V. The grumpy variety. 6th Street got wise and learned you helped Flavio outta NC, along with sending some of their chooms to the pearly gates. Maybe you better move too. Not out of NC of course, just outta their crosshairs.

Gig type: Thievery
Objective: Steal an automated Zetatech vehicle
Location: Motel on Wollesen St.
Details:

Better get some tissues ready – this one's gonna be a real tearjerker. Pedro Aimar, a guy who thinks he's some kinda nova netrunner cuz he coded a few algorithms for Zetatech. Well, now he wants to klep their ass. It's not what you think – see, he has some kinda health problems and Zetatech doesn't wanna chip in for his operation. Crazy, right? A corp that doesn't give a shit about its employee. I'm practically speechless. Well, now look at that... tears are splashing onto my screen. This is a life and death situation, V! Pedro needs our help! He (and we) reeeaally need the eddies!

Pedro wants to klep a Zetatech truck full of A-grade tech (already got a buyer). Meet up with Pedro and figure out how you wanna play this. If you help him, our readiness to help a poor soul in need will be handsomely rewarded.

Well, well! Got ourselves a real edgerunner, huh? You lunatic! Waitin' and baitin' the corpos like that! Hah! I fucking love it! 'K, back to biz. Pedro's happy, so we're golden. Eddies flowing to your account now. Gig's closed.

Beautifully done, V. Dunno about Pedro, but I consider you my hero already. See, V? Play your cards right, you'll always walk away with full pockets. Closing the gig.

Jesus, V, what a shitshow! The gig, the client, the eddies, V! Down the drain – all of it! Don't even get me started on the wheels! Just... grrr!

Gig type: Agent Saboteur
Objective: Deliver van
Location: Kendachi Factory, Arroyo
Details:

You ever watch the news? Personally, I think it's all propaganda. But that's just me. Still, people watch, and some people make the news.

My client's Ted Fox, an N54 reporter. He's doing a story on the link between gangs and corps. On paper, they're enemies, but in reality, seems like the corporats and gangoons are scratching each other's backs. Key word – seems. Ted needs hard evidence.

That's where you come in to save the day. Ted'll tell you exactly what you have to do, but be ready to get onto Kendachi factory grounds, poke around. All clear? Head on over to Ted. As they say in the media biz – it's showtime!

Preem work. Ted's gonna shit so hard on those Kendachi fucks. They won't know what hit 'em. Anyways, respect for running a tip-top op. Closing the contract and releasing your eddies.

Gig's done. Ted's got all the dirt on Kendachi he needs. That said, V... I gotta give you a C minus for effort. Closin' the contract, but I can't say I'm happy about it.

Humor me for a sec... How do you plant a bug under a truck that you blew to pieces, hm? Oh, that's right – you don't! What the hell's gotten into you, V?! Someone pinch me 'cause I must be dreamin' – I mean, who pulls this kinda shit?!

Gig type: Thievery
Objective: Retrieve Rihanna Kumar's Cytech research
Location: Cytech Factory on Olivia St.
Details:

Rihanna Kumar used to be a top engineer at Cytech. Lived in a preem house, ate ganic meat, looked down on the poor – all the corpo basics. Then her little fairy tale took a twist. Cytech turned her world upside down. No more house, no more meat – but got new perspective on poverty from the other side of the fence. She's enlisted us to help her get a severance package.

Break into the Cytech factory and retrieve the data of the projects our poor, mistreated client was working on. With that, she can turn this personal shitstorm into a new dawn for her career (fuck... missed my calling as a poet). Anyway, most important thing is that she's paying us for the gig. Have fun.

Heh, y'know, it's after gigs like this I think to myself, "Shit, am I glad I got V." Keep up the preem work. Closing the gig.

Data received, thanks. Now make yourself scarce

Gig type: Agent Saboteur
Objective: Infect 6th Street computer with a virus
Location: 6th Street hideout on MLK Blvd
Details:

Those boys and girls from 6th Street think they got wicked smarts, that they can jump a Militech transport in my hood without me knowing about it. They think they can crack corpo weapons and tip the balance of power in this city to their favor. It's time they got a rude awakening.

I'll snap you the location of the 6th St hideout and the door code. Job's simple – find a way in, look for the comp they use to jailbreak corpo tech, upload the virus I'll supply to you and voila, their fancy new weapon melts into a sparkly new slagheap.

One more thing. If you happen to find a Lucius Thoran, do me a favor and make his ass disappear, will ya? Thoran's a techie – came up with this gonk plan, which makes him a real thorn in my ass. Pun intended.

Stay safe and have fun.

Profesh as ever, V! Sixers'll think twice before sliding their gonk asses anywhere near my turf again. And that thing with Lucius Thoran? Hm-hm-hm! Cherry on top! Contract ca-losed!

Looks like the Sixers learned their lesson... Can't say the same for our lucky choom, Lucius Thoran. But hey, guess I can't complain, right? Job's done, matter's resolved. Just, y'know, try to go that extra mile next time, 'K?

You fucked up - it happens. Just make sure it doesn't happen too often, OK? Thx

Damn, that was weak. I need your A-game, not your D-game, all right? Maybe head down to the ripper's or something, get your ass into shape.

Been hearing a lot about you, V. People know they're dealing with a serious merc, not some Afterlife wannabe. You'll be seeing some fresh items under the counter, better prices too. See? Now everyone wants to do biz with V! ;)

Boy is your name making the rounds. Just so happens respect on the street is a valuable thing. In the long run, what matters is who you know and who's worth doin' biz with.

Shit, I remember when you first started doing mercwork... wet behind the ears as all get out. And now? Everyone's askin' about you, wanting to know what you're doing, who you're runnin' gigs for. Get this - people are even willing to sell you their stuff at half price just to say you bought from them. Congrats, V - I mean it.

You smell that, V? The sweet, sweet smell of cold, hard eddies? ;) You do good work - you get more work. Beautiful system we got goin, ain't it?

V, you crazy bitch! You're blazing through these gigs like a wildfire! Just wish everyone was like you. You know, the name "V" doesn't just look like some pretentious nickname anymore - it's starting to carry some serious weight. Nothing to lighten the load like a few more gigs! Don't worry, I saved the preemest ones just for you :*

Woop woop! Welcome fucking big leagues, baby! You either go big or go home, am I right? Told ya we'd go places. All right, enough blowing each other off - time to get back to work. New gigs are waiting for ya, champ!

Yo yo, V! You wanna put yourself outta biz or something? All the gigs in Santo've dried up – I got nada to offer you right now. Shit, I don't think this has ever happened before. You're really something, V, ya know that? Alright, take care!

Well, that's a wrap for Arroyo! District's gotta recover from all the preem work you've done ;) I'll holler if anything comes up

Well fuck me – I'm all out of work for you. Shit's crazy, right? At least nothing out in Rancho. All I got's some shitty gigs, but taking any one of them would be beneath your dignity, trust me. Ciao for now

My driver is already waiting for you.

Driver's almost there.

Sent you one of mine. He's rolling.

V! Finish the fucking job! If you bail now, those motherfuckers'll divide and multiply like the single-celled pieces of shit they are. You really wanna make things harder for yourself?!

What the hell, V? You think you can just duck out and go back like nothing happened? This ain't a visit to your senile fuckin gramps or somethin – you're not gonna surprise them a second time.

Oh, and another thing. If you wanna come size me up, look me in the eye, whatever – swing by, I'm here. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious to meet you.

Data received, thanks. Now make yourself scarce

Smell that, V? That's the sweet aroma of €$ wafting your way. You do good work – you get a bouquet of fresh, preem gigs. Go on, dive right in.

Holy shit, V! You're on a motherfuckin roll! If only everyone busted their ass like you! Your name's starting to generate a buzz in certain circles – the kind with big jobs and cash to flash. You're proven your chops, that's clear enough. Congratz – you've earned it.

You gonkshit crazy? The fuck was that all about? We were so fuckin close and then you go and pull whatever the fuck that was?! Do me a favor and GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, OK?

Hey amigo. It's been nice. We nailed some gigs, cracked some jokes, but we don't want things to get stale, ey? Soon as you get too cozy the world blows right by. Got some side shit of my own I wanna focus on. All this bein a fixer, pushin contracts… I'm done with it. Least in a sense. But hey don't cry! Sent you somethin to wipe away those tears. It's waiting for you in your toy stash. See ya round, V!

So this is kinda last minute, but I got a Herrera Outlaw for sale. Wouldn't wait too long on this – knowing folks around here, thing's a fucking thief-magnet. Probably only 1000 of them left in the world, no more than ten in all of NC, so we're talkin' 'bout a precious commodity. So chop chop, don't dawdle or I guarantee you'll be crying yourself to sleep for weeks to come.

V! I have a great deal for you – a Rayfield Aerondight "Guinevere"! It belonged to the ambassador of Argentina... that is, until the country returned to martial law and the only thing waiting for him there was a noose, so he sold everything he could and fled the city. He didn't try to bargain with me – the sign of a smart man. I too would be smart if I were you and get your cash ready, because this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. The world ain't exactly teeming with these beauties. Everyone wants to be unique, stand out, be noticed – I know you do too. The Aerondight can make that happen.

Yo yo, V. Got some eddies to burn? Maybe, I dunno, you'd consider buying a Caliburn? You heard right – A FUCKING CALIBURN! Beautiful machine, a downright work of art. If I could, I'd make love to this thing. Used to belong to Cytech's CEO, but the gonk sold it cuz apparently, and I quote, "Only poor people drive two-year old cars." Shit, I wish everyone could be poor by that definition. I just hope this Caliburn gets a loving owner, cuz she deserves it. If you're interested, lemme know.

V, if you are planning on spending more time in the Badlands, I have just the car to suit your needs – an all-terrain Mizutani Shion. It might look like a fuel-guzzling beast, but it could drive over a field of nails and broken glass like freshly paved asphalt. It pains me to part with it, but such is the nomad's lot – we cannot get attached to anything.

Hey hey, there's a Mizutani Shion that's looking for a new home. Won't lie, might be a little beaten up. Previous chick who owned it liked to lead-foot the pedal, but the engine, suspension, brakes, everything that matters – all that's in preem condish. Rides like a pure dream. This baby's a classic, and a fast one at that – perfect for losing the 5-0. Oh, and the flooring might be a little stained. Coffee...? Blood? Hard to tell.

Yo, got a Quadra 66 up for sale. Previous owner was a SoCal and 6th Street-4eva type who liked to slam the gas racing the streets at night... till he slammed right into a corpo. Yeeaaah, can't say that ended well for him. But don't worry, the fender and windshield are brand new and the ride's in preem shape - all it needs is a new owner ;)

V! I come bearing good news. Scratch that, preem news! Got a Quadra Avenger for sale. Now this one's a fucking beauty, lemme tell ya. The paintjob, the interior, the rumble of that engine! Lookin' at her gets me a little hard, and I'm not even ashamed to admit it. A person who wouldn't buy this (and I mean stat) would be lame as hell. Just sayin'.

Greetings, sister. Would you happen to be looking for a new car? The kind that won't choke on dust every time you go through a turnpike? If the answer is yes, then check the coordinates I attached. I have the Quadra Type-66 "Javelina" that my brother-in-law tuned up. When I say he's a perfectionist, I mean he checks five times before tightening every screw and polishes every inch of frame until it sparkles. You won't find better quality for your money. The truth is, every nomad wants a car like this, but few can afford it. I hope you're tempted by the offer, because I would rather sell to someone I know rather than a stranger.

Greetings, V. I have an Alvarado for sale in excellent condition, sitting in Rancho at the attached coordinates. I acquired it from a Valentino who had so many enemies he barely got out of town alive. Still, he managed to sell me everything he owned, including the car. You can tell it belonged to someone who was vain, glued to his earthly possessions... but I must say, the purr of the engine is like music to the ears. If you want it, just say the word – and make the transfer – and it will be yours.

Hey hey, got a Mahir Supron I need to get rid of. Now, I know I shouldn't talk smack about my own stuff, but... jesus, what a pile of shit. It's like someone welded an old tub and dumpster together, then stuck it in a cardboard cutout and taped some wheels on it. Look, I know not everyone's got enough €$ to blow on an Aerondight, but if you need something cheap, and fast – this is it.

Hello, V. I have a "Little Mule" for sale – in other words a custom-tuned Thorton Colby. A techie friend of mine found it in a ditch outside of town – thought it was beyond repair. Nothing but rust, dust and a communal bathroom for rats, by the looks of it. But once he gave it a wash-down, banged it back into shape, swapped out the suspension and cranked up the engine... well, for riding around in the desert, you can't go wrong.

Hey, there's a used Columbus parked at the market, waiting on a buyer. Belonged to a choom who used to move drugs around town, so you might hang up an air freshener or someting. I don't mind the exotic smells so much, but each to their own, right? Lemme know what you think.

Yo yo, got a new ride for sale – an Archer Hella. It's a fine car, but fair warning – it might reek a little of dead bodies. Bought it off the NCPD, who let it sit in a parking lot as evidence of a double murder. I mean, it's not like it hasn't been cleaned and polished, but if you end up buying it, I'd crack the windows for a while.

Hi, V! Got a Quartz waiting to be checked out. Fine machine, well taken care of, polished to a shine. Bought it off a certain gentleman who was a little whacked when it came to his car, huffing and puffing in his garage day in, day out. Until, that is, his wife filed for divorce – the ride had to go to pay the legal fees. Lemme know if you're interested.

"As they were walking along and talking together, suddenly a chariot of fire and horses of fire appeared." I have a theory that cars would please the Lord if He returned to our world – in particular, the tuned up Chevillon Thrax 388 Jefferson I have for sale. A car so mighty and majestic it almost makes you want to bow down to it. A great car destined for a great person. The question is, my dear V, are you worthy of it? Do some soul searching, check your balance and get back to me.

Hello, V. I have a Makigai MaiMai for sale. Aside from sounding like a fruity cocktail, it is a little small – but you, your guns and your groceries will fit right in. What more do you need?

Hey! Letting you know I got a reeeally nice Thorton Colby for sale. Belonged to some car-jacker from Memphis, a certain Nicholas, may he rest in peace. He'd klep the most expensive wheels for rich buyers – you know, Rayfields, Herreras – but for years he always drove this Colby. I'd tell you why, but you'll know for yourself the second you get behind the wheel.

V, my favorite merc! I got a Galena I'm selling. Hasn't been driven much – guy who owned for the last ten years was paranoid as shit of going outside cuz he was afraid "they" would zero him – car sat unloved for all that time. But you can't escape fate, right? Stray lead caught him through his window. Moral of the story's that you gotta grab life by the fucking balls. So don't be no scrooge, whip out your credchip and buy this baby.

V, I have a "Gecko" for sale – the nomad take on a Galena. Solid machine, but I have to warn you, it's a little bare on the inside. By that I mean no cup holder, LED screen, tush-warmer or other gimmicks. That being said, on rough terrain this thing is smoother than looks give it credit – you'll be sailing over every dune and rocky slope. So if you're strapping yourself in for a longer haul, it will practically pay for itself.

Listen, V. I have a Cortes for sale. It once belonged to some trust-fund kid who got it for his birthday, except instead of driving it around he preferred to stay hooked up to porn BDs all day. Eventually the family disowned him, sold his car, and now here we are. So, you interested? Take a look and give me your answer soon.

Beep beep! Got a Chevillon Emperor for sale. Won't deny it – hunk of metal's on the cheap side, bottom-shelf, but goddamn, the suspension on this thing's baby-smooth. Feels like you're riding on a cloud. And the seats! Fuck me, it's like you're getting a massage! Paint job's also so pretentious it's almost endearing. For what you're getting, this one's a bargain, trust me.

Hey, got a Mackinaw waiting to be sold – you'll find it at the attached coords. Watch out for turns, cuz this thing drives like a fucking boat. It's almost like it WANTS to crash into streetlamps and pedestrians. Oh, and it's also a real gas-guzzler. Still, it's worth it for the kicks.

V. In your line of work, one must be quick and punctual. Since you seem to struggle with both, I figured you could use a motorcycle. If you can have only one, let it be the best – the Yaiba Kusanagi. I happen to have one for sale. Buy it and you will not regret it.

Hello, V. I have an Arch Nazaré's that is looking for a new owner – practically new. It onced belonged to a corpo who wanted to impress his minions... except he did not have the first clue about handling it. He braked a little too hard and launched himself into the air – skull smacked the pavement so forcefully that not even TT Platinum could save him. Thank God for idiots. So, are you ready to buy?

Eds just came in. Always a pleasure doing biz, V.

Got the €$ – you made the right choice today, V.

€$ just came through. Enjoy it and drive safe!

I hope this message finds you well and in good graces. I am selling a motorcycle, and not just any kind – a Brennan Apollo. If you wish to be swifter than the thunderous smiting hand of our fickle Lord, go to the indicated coordinates and open your heart and wallet. I should mention that this is a one-time offer – it would be a sin to miss it.

Well, well, congrats! You flat out bought all the rides I had in stock. ALL OF THEM. When the fuck did you get so flush?! No, don't answer that. Less I know, the better.

Heyo, got a pickup truck for sale. Perfect for moving heavy equipment and maybe the occasional dead body. Interested? If that's a yes, then lemme give you some advice straight off the bat: nothing washes off blood better than warm water mixed 1:1 with vinegar. Course, car's gonna smell like a jar of pickles after, but that's not a crime as far as the NCPD's concerned.

Yo! You wouldn't happen to be lookin' for a new ride, would ya? Cuz I got a Quadra Turbo-R for sale. Real beaut, belonged to a choom of a mine – a merc like you. But then she retired, liquidated her account and took a one-way trip to Somalia, sipping piña coladas and tanning her bare ass on her own private beach. It's a waste of a fine car if it doesn't find a new owner. Take a look, will ya?

I have a Quadra Turbo for sale, parked at the attached coordinates. I suspect it will not stay available for long, since it is a good machine and there is no shortage of buyers. If life has taught me anything, it is to seize an opportunity as soon as it appears, for it might only appear once. You can think about that while you gather the money to pay.

My clients don’t need to kick the tires or peek under the hood. They know Muamar “El Capitan” Reyes already did it for ‘em! And to make everyone’s lives even easier, I set up my AUTOFIXER netpage! Just click, check the pics and choose your car – meanin’, if you can – and then shoot me the cred and full speed ahead! Just two things: no reservations, no installments.

Listen, cars are like underwear. I mean, you don’t gotta change ‘em every day... but it’s better for everyone if you do! Got a few new sets up on my netpage – talkin’ wheels, not tightie whities. Head on over to AUTOFIXER and grab a different model for each day of the week!

You gotta have a passion in life. Mine’s cars. I know you feel me. Why I’m tellin’ ya first - got a few new ones up on my netpage. Go on, check out what El Capitan’s got to offer. I mean it’s givin’ me chills just writin’ about ‘em!

Funny sitch today. Was bringin’ a new car to my garage when the cops stopped me. Well, I lower the window and the pig goes to me: “Oh... sorry chief, my bad.” Now THAT’S what a car from AUTOFIXER can do for YOU! Wanna see what’s new? That’s what the netpage is for!

Used cars, man, they got a soul. All that talk about odometers being scrolled back, well, that ain’t nothing but a myth. Hell, I usually crank ‘em up – I mean, nobody’d believe me otherwise. Head over to AUTOFIXER and check the fresh wheels I caught!

Talk about an automotional connection. There’s days when I don’t know how I’m feelin’... till I grab the keys to a Shion instead of a Galena or Apollo and drive! Somethin’ tells me you’re the same. Hop on my netpage - AUTOFIXER’s got a few newbies to suit any mood.

You might not change the world, but you can still switch up your car! El Capitan is here to help! Fire up AUTOFIXER and peep the new rides waitin’ for ya in my garage!

Got a limited-time offer for a limited-edition Quartz Bandit. Took a little elbow grease to get all the dead flies off her windows, but she’s clean as a whistle now. Tossed a pic of the little beaut on AUTOFIXER. Go on, grab ‘er... and no need to thank me!

Psst! Got a Quadra Type-66 Cthulhu screechin’ onto the AUTOFIXER netpage. Fun fact, in this car objects are NOT closer than they appear in the mirror – they’re left in the dust! That a trick of the light? Nah, it’s a miracle of automotive design. Grab your eds and hop on the site before the servers conk out.

El Capitan has done it again! The competition hates him! The people love him! Hop on AUTOFIXER – you won’t believe what you find! With El Capitan’s cars and AUTOFIXER, five minutes is all you need to make your automotive dreams come true! What are you waiting for?!

AUTOFIXER is my pride and joy, V! Thanks to you, my client list is stretchin’ out longer than an Alvarado tuna boat. Remember, if you’re good to El Capitan, El Capitan’s good to you and your wallet! Keep those “special deliveries” coming, and I’ll keep adding preem rides to AUTOFIXER and tossin’ ya a discount. Use your discount shards right away, or stack ‘em up to grab the wheels of your dreams. No funny biz though – discount only applies ONCE!

Chooms with hidden talents, that’s you an' me! Some might call it "sticky fingers," but man, they're just jealous. Fuck 'em, right? My gut says we're just getting started. Check out the new AUTOFIXER lineup – think some of ‘em might steal your heart. Pun intended.

Listen, I love all my rides equally, just like a proud momma bird. But the chicks gotta leave the nest at some point, huh? I'd feel much better knowing you're there with them on that journey. Pull up AUTOFIXER and take of one of my babies under your wing. I know you got the eddies for it, right?

Now, most collectors keep their prizes under lock an’ key, right? Not me – I'm all about sharing. I'd rather spread the love than sit around jerkin’ off to all the fuck-off rides I got in my garage. Which I got thanks in no small part to you. But to be fully satisfied, I wanna see you in the driver's seat of one of those beauts. Make me happy, V. Hop on AUTOFIXER and grab yourself a ride.

Here I am, workin’ my ass off bringin’ in preem wheels, puttin’ up photos, writin’ fuckin’ poetic descriptions and you, my favorite client, ain’t even take a peek yet at AUTOFIXER???

I know you, V. Know what you want, what you like. What you NEED. Hop on AUTOFIXER and don’t say I didn’t tell you so.

Listen, I know, I know, ya got inflation, CHOOH2 prices are sky high, everything’s goin’ to shit, yadda yadda, but that’s why life’s little pleasures are so important, V! If not now, when??? C’mon, hop on AUTOFIXER already!

Just want what’s best for YOU, V. An’ it just so happens AUTOFIXER’s got the best wheels in Night City.

Listen, V, got a new set of wheels on my netpage – a real pretty Herrera Outlaw. Talkin’ bulletproof tires, delta-speed guns, extra armor, souped-up engine, the works. Check her out, beaut’s just the car for you.

See? You an' me, we get each other, V!

If you've always dreamed of living like a rock star but still don't know how many strings a guitar has, all is not lost! I have a Porsche 911 Turbo Cabriolet (930) (ahem, that means a CONVERTIBLE!) that sports a spicy black and yellow paint job. It also features unique decals designed by probably the biggest Samurai fan to ever walk this Earth. Get it now!! Don't think twice! Legendary rockerboy Johnny Silverhand definitely wouldn't!!

Hey, you remember that gonk Jake Estevez that you left high and dry? The one who's ride you were meant to go get but instead you fucked it all up? Well it turns out he left another car in the city, and it's a QUADRA TURBO-R! Not bad, eh? Flicking you its coords - near the cargo station out in Rancho (check your map). Go and get 'er, V. Don't drag your feet on this. Almost forgot - there's just one minor hitch. Some scavs are lurking near the garage, but I'm sure you'll make quick work of them, right? ;)

And? Enjoying your new wheels? You fucking BETTER. Seeing as Jake's out of the picture, it's better you have it than let it rust away in some dank garage ;)

V. Heard you're makin a name for yourself out there. How about some new digs too, huh? My choom over at EZEstates told me there's a few fresh units for rent. They could give your current pad a makeover, too. Go check their netpage or visit 'em in person before some gonk grabs the best one. Think this one’s right up your alley:

Suit yourself. But when all the cool new digs are taken and you realize you're stuck in your moldy dump of an apartment, don't come crying back to me.

That's what I'm talking about, V! You'll love what I have in store for you. Guns, rides, digs... Only the best for my people!

V. Heard you're makin a name for yourself out there. How about some new digs too, huh? My choom over at EZEstates told me there's a few fresh units for rent. They could give your current pad a makeover, too. Go check their netpage or visit 'em in person before some gonk grabs the best one. Think this one’s right up your alley:

V. Heard you're makin a name for yourself out there. How about some new digs too, huh? My choom over at EZEstates told me there's a few fresh units for rent. They could give your current pad a makeover, too. Go check their netpage or visit 'em in person before some gonk grabs the best one. Think this one’s right up your alley:

V. Heard you're makin a name for yourself out there. How about some new digs too, huh? My choom over at EZEstates told me there's a few fresh units for rent. They could give your current pad a makeover, too. Go check their netpage or visit 'em in person before some gonk grabs the best one. Think this one’s right up your alley:

You scan those sweet new digs, V? Place all made-over? If not, check this out (fuckin’ preem, tellin’ ya):

You scan those sweet new digs, V? Place all made-over? If not, check this out (fuckin’ preem, tellin’ ya):

You scan those sweet new digs, V? Place all made-over? If not, check this out (fuckin’ preem, tellin’ ya):

V. Heard you're makin a name for yourself out there. How about some new digs too, huh? My choom over at EZEstates told me there's a few fresh units for rent. They could give your current pad a makeover, too. Go check their netpage or visit 'em in person before some gonk grabs the best one. Think this one’s right up your alley:

Wanna text, huh? yeah, talkin’s overrated anyway

You fire up every sketch XBD you find on the street? Ey I ain’t judgin, curiosity’s a helluva thing. But still... mighty brave

But yeah, c-psycho attack sounds familiar but never dug into it too deep. Pretty big mess is all I know. As for Martinez, choom... the fuck kinda question is that?! Course that name means somethin to me!

Santo kid, like me. Sprung up outta nowhere and never looked back. Was sippin drinks at the Afterlife in no time

Every punk pup with a dream wanted to run in his crew. That is, til bout a year ago when David kicked the hornets nest

Why? wanna join his fanclub? get his autograph on a new implant?

Tough to say. But I’ll do some digging, let you know

Sounds like you found Martinez. Or Martinez found you. Whatever the case someone left you a package. I can keep an eye on it but that’s it. I ain’t a fuckin delivery boy

we fucked up, V. Daniels is real pissed at you too. said he told you a million times the gear was top prio

V, cmon, I’m waiting. Gig’s important, we need to act quick. Meet at the SanDomo dam.

they killed daniels, thought you should know. later V

V, you left the truck!!! fuuuuck you fucked it all up!!!

jesus christ. fucked it all up V, get the hell outta there

seriously V? the fuck??? i mean real bang up fuckin job drivin cargo worth millions right into the water. how much you think it’s worth now, huh??? a plus fuckup V, ten outta ten

forgot to say, hold off on the other deliveries for now. this gig’s top prio.

V got a gig, a big one. Meet at the dam in Santo Domingo.

what I like to fuckin hear! see ya soon

alright just don’t keep a choom waiting. gig’s a biggie

See you left the port. Eyes on the road!

Fuck! Gear’s damaged for sure after all that! Sat on the docks too long, get over here!

Lost the heat, good! Now get your ass over here.

How’s the ride? Is her majesty pleased? Engine tuned to her liking? Wheels bulletproof enough? Guns firing at delta speed? Armor plating keeping her majesty’s tushie safe? Your humble servant Muamar hopes that Herrera Outlaw’s treating you like a queen.

Hahaha! V, you crazy gonk! Missed talkin to ya! Hope that luxury sports tank serves you well!

ya got a tail V! talkin chooms on your ass, look alive!

messed with the wrong ppl, watch out!

ride’s here, preem condition, beautiful. My chooms’ll handle it from here.

All the bumps and scratches... not exactly a perfectionist myself, but shit, you coulda done better. little more care for the paint job next time, V

ughhhh your killin’ me. thought I was gettin’ a preem ride, and what do I get? a piece of shit. better get YOUR shit together, V

pretty glorious fuckup there, V. If I wanted fuckups, I'd hire any ol scop-for-brains goon off the street, not you. make sure the ride gets to me next time. I hope that's clear.

don't you bring your trouble here! Lose the heat first

no unwanted guests, V! get rid of ‘em, for fuck's sake!

gigs’re getting trickier, V. This one, time ain’t on your side. get it done quick, you’ll get the right reward

our client’s on a tight schedule, that means we are too! hurry, V!

client’s picky, wants their ride delivered in mint condition. got it? got it

listen V, parts for that beaut cost a fortune. you get my drift? if not, lemme explain - don’t bang ‘er up!

cmon my instructions were clear as day, weren’t they? guess I shoulda dumbed ‘em down too... at least finish what you started, k?

choomba! you even listenin to me? fuck, you better forget about any bonus eds

preem, ride's hacked! Take it over!

got 'em! now just deliver the ride in one piece

can’t get enough of these gigs, huh, ya greedy bastard? haha, flippin’ you the coords, go!

new wheels, new you V! check the coords

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVwhatthefuuuuckkkkkk! don't do me like that! A deal's a deal, you gotta deliver no matter what. Get your shit together and finish the job next time, choom. Fuuuck

V, listen, just bring me that ride. Flippin’ ya the coords. More detes once you get here.

V, what the hell! You're coming to important job with a stolen vehicle? Nevermind, just leave it there and let's take care of the real business.

V, lemme lay some facts on ya. The good kind. The rippers we hired already carried out some 17 operations with that Arasaka gear we klepped, swappin busted kidneys for beautiful smiles. Might sound like a tacky tagline but this is some honest to god heartwarmin shit, choom. We also opened a dialysis center (still need a lil time to arrange organ transplants tho). This is real, V. It's happenin. And all thanks to you.

ahhh V, wouldn'ta been possible without ya. But now it's time for Santo to start takin care of itself. Under my watchful eye, of course ;)

Ok, so don't panic. Customer buys a car, AUTOFIXER delivers, you know the drill. I sent the Porsche seller your way and everything was golden until he kinda vanished into thin air… him and your new wheels. Honest to God, idk what the fuck happened. Looks like I'm gonna need you to get involved here, choom.

I wouldn't procrastinate too hard on this. It's a damn fast car, know what I'm sayin? Sending you the coords of its last known location. Fingers crossed!! Lemme know how it goes!

Ahh, poor guy… But hey, least you don't gotta worry about him changing his mind or wanting his wheels back!

Ha! Always loved your sense of humor. XD Been a pleasure doin biz, V. Be sure to visit AUTOFIXER again for all your convenient car-buying needs!

Yo V! Need a special merc for a special gig, someone I can trust. My client wants a juicy scoop of Rayfield corporate intel, and just so happens two of their concept engineers recently landed in town out of merry old England! Findin clean water in Rancho Coronado is easier than catching Rayfield bigwigs outside of their HQ. This kinda opportunity comes along about as often as a 4-leaf clover under a blue moon - we gotta jump on it!!

That's why you're my favorite merc, V!

I get it, you're a hot commodity. But so is this gig. Don't make me buzz my second choice. Lemme know when you're ready to take it on

The fuck?!1? No no no - ABORT ABORT - CEASE AND DESIST - CONTRACT CLOSED! Step away from this one, V, RUN away, lay low for a while. Tellin the client we didn't find shit. Jesus… of fucking course the car belongs to our newly crowned emperor…

Do not even think of stealing it or we're BOTH flatlines!! And I still got my whole life ahead of me, V!

Find the engineers, extract the intel about their next project, send it my way, then ka-ching ka-ching, you know the rest. Nothin too complicated but I need it done right. Can I count on you?

Guess the Brits wanna snap some stills of the skyline before they hop back across the pond -- they're at Coronado Dam to the southeast. Weird spot, but being so isolated could work in your favor. Sending the coords

There is, sure! When it suits me. Go get 'em, V.

Glad we're on the same page. Always say you're NC's smartest merc

Jesus fuck, V… You're on your own. YOU DO NOT KNOW ME

V, we're unstoppable you and me! Especially when we both got our priorities straight. I'm bumpin up your pay for leavin you-know-what you-know-where. Well deserved, choom!

Just couldn't fuckin help yourself, could ya? Had to klep the Mordred anyway…

Congrats on the new wheels - all it cost was your life. Watch yourself out there, V. I'm prayin for ya.

Some peeps never know when to listen…

Some peeps never know when to listen…

You choose the shit you swim in

Remember, if anyone ever asks about this biz, you ain't never heard of me!

Carpe diem, V! Words to live by! And if you wanna carpe this diem, go to Autofixer and carpe the new ride that just dropped! It's an ASM-R250 MURAMASA from Yaiba - a super unique model. Preemo design, raw speed, untamed power - don't miss this opportunity to crotch rocket your way into the cosmos!! Just wanted to give my fav merc an early heads up. I'm selfless, what can I say? ;) Check it out!!!