Cyberpunk 2077

Dialogue: Machine Gun

4 scenes with every line and reply option. Tags like 1A show which reply a line follows. Warning: contains the whole story of the job.

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Scene 1 Skippy, V

Skippy

New fingerprints detected.

V

The fuck?

Skippy

Increasing volume by 33 percent. New fingerprints detected!

V

What... what the hell are you?

Skippy

User inquiry. Technical specifications. HJKE-11 smartgun with built-in AI. Experimental model.

Name. Skippy.

V – choose a reply1AWas that your owner?1BSkippy? You serious?
V

1AGuy by the dumpster – that your owner?

Skippy

1AChecking memory... Resources available – 100 percent. All files removed manually.

1APossible cause. Theft. Original owner – no data.

1ASuggested solution. None.

V

1AI got one. I'll take you.

Skippy

1AProcessing request... No objections found.

V – choose a reply2AWhat can you do?2BYou fully functional?2CCan I change your name?
V

2AAll right, so what can you do? Besides talk my ear off?

Skippy

2APrimary feature – automated targeting. In case of critical threat to user – autonomous shooting capabilities.

2APlease choose one of two operating modes. First mode. Puppy-Loving Pacifist. I will aim at the enemy's lower extremities.

2ASecond mode. Stone Cold Killer. I will aim exclusively at the head.

V – choose a reply3AStone Cold Killer, please.3BPuppy-Loving Pacifist sounds better.
V

3A"Stone Cold Killer." My kind of gun.

3BUm. Guess I'll go with "Puppy-Loving Pacifist"...

Skippy

2AAdjusting settings...

2ABum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum...

V

2AUgh...

Skippy

2ASelected mode – Stone Cold Killer. Happy slaughtering!

2ASelected mode – Puppy-Loving Pacifist. Enjoy permanently crippling your enemies!

V

2BYou still got all your functions?

Skippy

2BRunning system diagnostics. Testing will take approximately forty-seven seconds.

2BBum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum...

V

2BWhat... What are you doing?

Skippy

2BI'm making the wait more pleasant with a soothing melody.

2BBum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum...

2BTest successfully completed. The program "Skippy v0.01 ALPHA" is running correctly.

V

2CCan I change your name?

Skippy

2CNo.

V

2CWhy not? Considering I'm your new owner...

Skippy

2CIncreasing volume by 300 percent. NOOOOO!

2CAdministrator rights are needed to complete that action. You do not have the required permissions.

V

1BSkippy? Seriously?

Skippy

1BIncreasing volume by sixty-six percent. Name...

V

1BI'm not deaf!

Skippy

1BUnderstood. Hearing within norm. Possible issue – low IQ. Reducing speech rate by thirty-three percent. My. Name. Is. Skippy.

V

1BNo, it's just... Ugh. Never mind.

Scene 2 Skippy

Skippy

Provocation. Taste my lead, bitch!

A delay has occurred. Possible cause – power surge. Message to user – My bad.

Fun fact. The human body holds between five and seven liters of blood.

Error – premature discharge. I'm sorry, this never happens!

Reason for firing – unknown.

Are you happy with the autonomous shooting function? Please jump to confirm.

Installing update. This may take several minutes...

Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum...

Mmm, yeah! Don't stop!

New magazine detected. Message to user. Thanks, choom!

Is there no end to this madness?!

Provocation. What now, you piece of filth?!

Provocation. I'ma tear you to shreds, scopsucker!

Provocation. You done messed with the wrong woman!

Provocation. Kiss my juicy – beeep!

Fun fact. According to traditional Christian doctrine, you are going to burn in hell.

Fun fact. The vast majority of murders are committed by men. You go girl!

Fun fact. Bloodstains can be removed using one easy trick and vinegar!

Fun fact. The human brain remains active for up to several minutes after decapitation!

Scene 3 Skippy, V

Skippy

Hello user! I have prepared a usage data report for you.

Please say anything to continue.

V – choose a reply1ALet's see those stats.1BAnything.
V

1AAll right. Show me what you got.

1BAnything.

Skippy

1BIt looks like you're trying to be funny. Automated response. Ha ha ha! I have never heard that one before!

User! I have assisted you in killing over fifty people.

Stone Cold Killer mode has been deactivated. From this point on, only Puppy-Loving Pacifist will be available. Thank you!

V – choose a reply2AHow do I undo that?2BBut... Why?
V

2AShit... Can I undo it?

Skippy

2AChecking now... Bum bum be-dum bum bum...

2AAnswer found – no. Permission denied.

2AI'm so glad I could be of assistance!

V

2BBut... Why? Why's it blocked?

Skippy

2BOpening Frequently Asked Questions. Item – "Why can't I kill more than fifty people?"

2BAnswer – "The fuck is wrong with you? Please go see a therapist, you psycho. (Note to self – rewrite later, do not forget)."

User! I have assisted you in maiming over fifty people.

To help me improve your experience, please answer the following survey question.

Why do you prefer to maim rather than kill your enemies?

V – choose a reply3AKilling is wrong.3BI don't know.3CI'm not having a conversation with my gun.
V

3AKilling's wrong. Plain and simple.

Skippy

3ABut shooting out kneecaps is all right. Understood.

V

3ANo, no, wait, I didn't mean--

3BDon't really know.

Skippy

3BThank you. Initiating Stone Cold Killer mode. I will now aim exclusively for the head.

V

3BNo, no, no, wait!

3CI'm not having a philosophical debate with a piece of iron.

Scene 4 Daisy, Regina, Skippy, SkippyVoice, V

Skippy

User! I have an important message for you!

Say anything to continue.

V – choose a reply1AAll right. Hit me.1BAnything.
V

1AHit me with it.

1BAnything.

Skippy

1BAutomated response. Ha ha ha! The joke gets funnier the more you say it!

1BIt looks like you're trying to be funny. Automated response. Ha ha ha! I have never heard that one before!

While running a routine diagnostic check, I discovered a file with my owner's metadata.

Name. Regina Jones.

User. Please return me to my real owner. Thank you in advance.

V – choose a reply2AOK. I'll take you to Regina.2BNo. I'm keeping you.
V

2AOK. I'll take you to Regina.

Skippy

2AYou are the best user I know!

V

2AChoom, I'm the only user you know. Your memory got wiped.

Skippy

2AFun fact. There is a 92 percent probability Regina Jones will reward you!

V

2BDon't think so... You're mine now. Finders keepers.

Skippy

2BIncreasing volume by 300 percent. TAKE ME BACK TO MY OWNER!!!

V

2BYell all you want.

SkippyVoice

2BBad user! Bad user!

V – choose a reply3AThe name "Skippy" mean anything to you?
V

3AHey, the name "Skippy" ring any bells? Fits in a holster, more than a little psycho...

Regina

3AYou have Skip?! Little bastard got swiped a while back... Let me see him!

V – choose a reply4A[Hand over Skippy]
Regina

4ALet's see how you're doin'. Run diagnostics.

Skippy

4APerformance – 82 percent. Memory – damaged. Mode – Puppy-Loving Pacifist. Permanent lock.

Regina

4APermanent lock? Hm. Something's gonked... Return to factory settings.

Skippy

4APlease set pistol name.

Regina

4AHmmm... Daisy.

Daisy

4AMy name is Daisy.

V – choose a reply5AThere a reward?5BYou killed him...5CWhere'd you get him from?
V

5ASo – somethin' for my trouble?

Regina

5ASure... Here you go.

V

5AFeels kinda weird now. It's too... quiet.

Regina

5AHm. Maybe you should get a dog.

V

5AMaybe. Someday. See ya, Reggie.

5BYou... You killed him! You killed Skippy.

Regina

5BCome on. He's just an algorithm. Not a shred of consciousness.

V

5BNot so sure. He... he had a personality. Quirks, mannerisms.

Regina

5BMhm. Protocol errors. A good, hard reset always helps.

V

5CWait... Where'd you get this iron anyway?

Regina

5CEh... Knew a guy, everyone called him Danish... Great techie. I mean, before he started hitting the bottle.

5CAnyway, poker game... Danish cleaned out his credchip, then bet his gun. I think you can put together the rest.

5CThe combat features are great... But why the voice interface, you know? Weird as hell.

Skippy

4APerformance – 82 percent. Memory – damaged. Mode – Stone Cold Killer.

Regina

4AHmm... I'd better do a full scan. At least it still works.

SkippyVoice

Bad user! Bad user!

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