IMPORTANT – all staff please read
"IMPORTANT – all staff please read" – email from Cyberpunk 2077. Dear Team, I like to beat around the bush as much as the next guy, but I'm afraid I don't have that luxury this time.
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Dear Team,
I like to beat around the bush as much as the next guy, but I'm afraid I don't have that luxury this time. First off, you all remember that framed quote I used to have in my office – "Never trust a person who's never tried to steal." Well it seems someone took that sentiment too much to heart. Now, don't panic – it wasn't the quote that was stolen – it's safely at home. Rather, it appears a staff member has taken our neurotransmitter research files from the facility with the likely intent of selling them to a third party.
As such, all lab employees will be required to take a polygraph before leaving the facility led by our own Dr. Al Tolliver. If Al finds anything troubling from your tests, the next course of action would be termination, legal action or both. No jokes – I mean this in all seriousness.
Let me emphasize – do the polygraph BEFORE LEAVING WORK, then you're free to get in your naps, showers, lapdances or whatever is you people do in your off-hours.
Have a pleasant day!
Cy
I like to beat around the bush as much as the next guy, but I'm afraid I don't have that luxury this time. First off, you all remember that framed quote I used to have in my office – "Never trust a person who's never tried to steal." Well it seems someone took that sentiment too much to heart. Now, don't panic – it wasn't the quote that was stolen – it's safely at home. Rather, it appears a staff member has taken our neurotransmitter research files from the facility with the likely intent of selling them to a third party.
As such, all lab employees will be required to take a polygraph before leaving the facility led by our own Dr. Al Tolliver. If Al finds anything troubling from your tests, the next course of action would be termination, legal action or both. No jokes – I mean this in all seriousness.
Let me emphasize – do the polygraph BEFORE LEAVING WORK, then you're free to get in your naps, showers, lapdances or whatever is you people do in your off-hours.
Have a pleasant day!
Cy
